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John Furie Zacharias

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Saturday, August 20, 2005
God and Gas

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 [ Rant ] topic
I watch the news.  They talk about the reasons for record high gas prices in the U.S.  I always think they are lying.  The price of gas in a free market system is based upon supply and demand.  That is the starting point, anyway.  After that, non-economic factors seem to be tossed into the equation -- price fixing by OPEC, tariffs, etc.  In fact, oil exporting countries still make a profit if a barrel of oil costs anything over (US)$15 - $18.  So, Saudi Arabia is making a 400% profit selling their SUV crack to the rednecks and soccer moms in the United States.

I haven't completely finished reading an english translation of the Qu'ran, but it just seems to me that the prophet may indeed have a sharp, sarcastic sense of humor, after all.

But inevitably, some energy expert will come on the news broadcast and then say that the unrest in the middle east has driven the price of crude oil to record levels.  Some talking-head experts point to the war in Iraq as the reason. That can not be true on a supply/demand basis because U.S. importers didn't purchase significant amounts of Iraqi oil in the recent past because of the United Nations sanctions.  Even considering the war in Iraq -- the sanctions have been lifted and the opportunity to import oil from Iraq has actually increased -- despite the obvious security problems.

If the prophet Mohammed has a sarcastic sense of humor, Jesus Christ must be busting a gut laughing at the irony of the United States twice electing a president and vice-president so soaked in the oil business their entire lives that both of them likely piss light sweet crude in the executive bathrooms at the White House.  It's just bad karma for a greedy oil man to have the ear of the commander-in-chief of the largest military force on our increasingly shrinking, little spinning ball of mud -- especially when he is so well-known for failed business plans and evangelical delusions.

Meanwhile, using the Way Back Machine, let's eavesdrop on some conversations:

Cheney: "Hey, Dubya, let's invade Iraq."
GWBush: "Sure, Saddam made my daddy mad."
Cheney: "Rummy says we've been half-ready since the Gulf War."
GWBush: "Really?"
Cheney: "Yeah, we've kept him in a no-fly-zone box for you."
GWBush: "God Bless America."
Cheney: "Uh, sure ... whatever."
GWBush: "I'll have to ask Karl Rove first."
Cheney: "No problem.  I'll make some calls, too."
GWBush: "I'm going on a bike ride to pray about it."


Cheney: "Hey, Colin. What's up, my brother?"
Powell: "Not much.  I'm checking out shower surveillance videos of Condi."
Cheney: "Yeah, that's good stuff."
Powell: "How's Gilligan?"
Cheney: "He just left to ride his bike."
Powell: "John Bolton just told me Iraq has WMDs."
Cheney: "Yeah.  George Tenet will say the same thing."
Powell: "What are we going to do?"
Cheney: "The usual dog and pony show.  I'll get back to you."


Cheney: "Hey, Ken. I think I have a plan."
Ken Lay: "I'll bring some friends."
Cheney: "We should talk about this in my office."
Ken Lay: "Let's roll."


JfZ's advice: Do as the Dubya does, not as he says.
Ride a bike.  It may just save a soldier's life.

[Headphones] :: Dancing with the Dubya - JfZ


Posted at 01:32 pm by John Furie Zacharias

Dark
August 20, 2005   11:34 PM PDT
 
'Havent built a new oil plant in over 30 years...surely a sign that we're running out of oil! They saw it comin! They saw it comin a mile away, they did!'

But maybe we havent seen new plants as they're...oh, idunno...bottlenecking the entire industry to drive prices up lol

Altho analysts do say we're running out..lmao
Akira3099
August 21, 2005   12:06 AM PDT
 
That was a disgustingly hilarious trip in the way back machine. I've really enjoyed walking to and from work. $2.69 a gallon all over Atlanta, but if we don't pay for it in gas it'll be other general plastics. Is "addicted" an appropriate word?
M.
August 30, 2005   05:52 PM PDT
 
Watch those oil prices keep climbing if Chavez goes through with his threats and cuts supply to the US...
J f Z
August 31, 2005   09:55 AM PDT
 
Well, yeah. That's something I was thinking about when I wrote the Pat Robertson entry ... "Thanks, Pat. You're a rich jerk who doesn't care if gas is $10 / gallon."
 

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